There is no pain quite like losing a child.
It changes everything. It changes who you are, how you see the world, and how you imagine the future. For those of us who are bereaved parents, there is a “before” and an “after,” and we spend the rest of our lives learning how to live in the space between the two.
My son, Alex, died unexpectedly on April 5, 2025. Like many grieving parents, I survived that first year largely because my mind was protecting me. Shock has a way of cushioning the unbearable. But now I find myself in year two, and in many ways, it has been even harder.
The fog has lifted.
The reality has settled in.
And with that comes a painful kind of clarity.
Year two is when many people expect life to return to “normal.” The cards stop coming. Friends assume you’re doing better. The world moves on. But for many bereaved parents, this is when grief becomes even more profound because the permanence of the loss becomes undeniable. You begin to understand that this isn’t something you “get over.” It is something you learn to carry.
As both a licensed mental health therapist and a bereaved mother, I realized there was something missing in the way we often talk about grief. Too often, the goal sounds like moving on, finding closure, or leaving our loved one behind.
But that isn’t what most grieving parents want.
We don’t want to forget.
We don’t want to move beyond them.
We want to find a way to carry them with us while still allowing ourselves to continue living.
That realization became the foundation for Carry Them Forward and the Grieving Forward Method.
At the heart of the method are three simple but deeply meaningful principles:
Carry – We learn that love doesn’t end with death. We discover healthy ways to carry our child’s memory, influence, and presence into our everyday lives.
Connect – We intentionally maintain an ongoing bond through rituals, stories, values, traditions, acts of service, and shared memories. Connection becomes a source of comfort rather than something we fear will disappear.
Continue – We give ourselves permission to keep living—not because our child mattered less, but because they mattered so much. We continue building a life that reflects the love they left behind.
Grieving Forward does not ask us to let go.
It invites us to hold on differently.
Healing is not measured by how little we cry or how quickly we return to our routines. Healing is measured by our ability to carry both love and sorrow together. It is learning that joy and grief can exist in the same heart at the same time.
During Bereaved Parents Month, I want every grieving parent to know this:
There is no timeline.
There is no right way to grieve.
And there is nothing wrong with you if year two hurts more than year one.
Your love for your child did not end when their life ended.
Neither does your relationship with them.
We carry them forward—in our stories, our choices, our values, our traditions, our purpose, and the people we become because we loved them.
That is not moving on.
That is moving forward…together.
You Don’t Have to Grieve Alone
If you are looking for compassionate grief support, Total Health Guidance is here to help. Our monthly Grieving Forward Intensive provides practical tools, meaningful connection, and a safe space to honor your loved one while learning how to carry them forward with hope.
We’re also launching virtual grief support groups so you can connect with others who truly understand your journey. Groups include:
- Adult Child Loss
- Sibling Loss
- All Loss (spouse, parent, child, family member, friend, or other significant loss)
Whether your loss is recent or many years ago, healing doesn’t mean leaving your loved one behind—it means learning to carry their love with you as you move forward.
To register for an upcoming Grieving Forward Intensive or join one of our virtual grief groups forming soon (English and Spanish), call Total Health Guidance at 321-332-6984. We would be honored to walk alongside you.
