This is my first holiday season without my son, Alex, and even saying those words still feels unreal. My daughter and I are learning how to move through a world that looks nothing like it did last year. Everything—from the lights to the music to the small traditions—hits differently now. And although my grief is uniquely mine, I know so many others are walking into their own first holiday season with someone missing.
Whether your loss is recent or years old, the holidays have a way of stirring up memories, longing, and pain. I want to share a few things that are helping me breathe through this season, in the hope that they might offer you some grounding too.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel What You Feel
There’s no “holiday version” of grief. Your emotions may shift throughout the day—sadness, anger, numbness, and unexpected moments of laughter or peace. Allowing yourself to feel what comes without judgment or pressure eases the internal battle. You don’t need to be “okay” for anyone else.
2. Adjust Traditions in Ways That Honor Where You Are
This may be a year to simplify, soften, or completely reshape the way you do things. You’re not required to attend every gathering or carry out every tradition. Choose what feels manageable. Create space for gentler moments, new rituals, or simply doing less. This is a season of permission, not perfection.
3. Choose a Meaningful Way to Honor Your Loved One
A candle, a photo, a memory shared out loud, a favorite recipe, a song—small rituals can create a sense of connection in the midst of pain. Honoring your loved one doesn’t deepen the grief; it acknowledges the love that still lives in you.
4. Accept Support From People Who Feel Safe
Grief can make the world feel loud and isolating all at once. You don’t have to carry it alone. Leaning into support—whether from a friend, a therapist, a group, or someone who simply listens without trying to fix—can bring relief and grounding during an emotionally heavy season.
5. Do One Small Thing Each Day That Nourishes You
Even tiny acts of care matter. Sleep, hydration, prayer, journaling, walking, breathing exercises—whatever supports your body and spirit. These moments help steady you when grief feels overwhelming. Healing often lives in the smallest choices.
The holidays may never look the same, and that truth is tender. But there is still room for softness, connection, and care as you move through them. If this is your first season without someone you love, I’m right there with you—finding my way one gentle decision at a time, honoring both the love that remains and the person who is deeply missed.
If you’re struggling this holiday season, please reach out—Total Health Guidance is here to walk with you through your grief, now and throughout the year.
